"The gods too are fond of a joke.”  


"My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar."

Victoria Wood

"I like to play chess with old men in the park, but it's hard to find 32 of them."

Emo Phillips


"I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition was to eat drink and be Mary."

George Carlin


"Toughest job I ever had, selling doors, door to door."

Bill Bailey

“I once had an after dinner mint after breakfast and it threw me out for weeks.”

Elliot Goblet

More to come